


A Walk In the Jurassic Park

by greywolfheir



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dinosaurs, Gabe does the thing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 22:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greywolfheir/pseuds/greywolfheir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team Free Love and dinosaurs--what more do you need?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Walk In the Jurassic Park

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firesighn.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=firesighn.tumblr.com).



> Please don't shoot me for the title; I suck at titles. Anyway this was based off of a simple prompt: dinosaurs. There's not too much shippy stuff here, just a whole lot of crack. I hope you guys can handle it!

“Dean, Cas, holy _crap_ , you have to see this!”

A very agitated Sam burst through the hotel room at nine in the morning on a Tuesday (waking an almost-sleeping Dean), sprinted to the remote and flicked the channels of the television (interrupting Cas’s cartoons) to a news channel. On it was the footage of the news program broadcasting…a dinosaur?

“We are…” The news anchor on the television cleared her throat but attempted to maintain professionalism as best she could. “We are _very_ shocked to bring you news that a T-Rex has made its way into the outskirts of Belt, Montana this morning—“

“Oh come on that’s _clearly_ a Theropod,” Sam muttered at the same time Cas grumbled “That’s not a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”  

“What the hell, Sammy? You woke me up for one of your crappy sci-fi shows?” Dean rubbed his eyes and sat up, if only to glare at Sam properly.

“No, Dean, didn’t you hear?” Sam said, frustration increasing. “It’s _Belt, Montana_ —where we are—and it’s news that’s happening _right now_. Listen.”

Sam muted the television and Dean immediately realized that he was feeling just a hint of vibration beneath him and…was that a roar? His eyes widened.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said. “Dinosaurs haven’t existed since the flood.”

“Well hell Cas, you go out there and take on whatever the crap made a sound like that and tell me it’s not a dinosaur,” Dean said, leaping to his feet and shoving his jacket on. “I for one am gonna go figure out what kind of son of a bitch brought this thing here.”

They all piled into the car and Dean raced down the road. The dinosaur was clearly visible from the car window, so it wasn’t hard to find it. About halfway there, though, Dean stopped the car, muttering something about stepping on perfectly good cars.

They hadn’t made it a block before Cas gasped and disappeared. Dean barely had time to suck in the air to prepare for his complaint when Cas returned, grabbed them by the shoulders, and transported them much closer to the dinosaur. They could tell it was closer due to the simple fact that the vibrations were less a subtle feeling and more an earthquake that shook the ground enough to make their vision go all blurry.

“Ah, it looks like the gang’s all here.” A voice from behind made them all turn around.

“Gabriel!” Sam exclaimed.

“And the winner is…ding! ding! ding! Your friendly neighborhood giant!” Gabriel said, sauntering over with the biggest smug grin on his face.

“I thought you were dead,” Dean grunted bluntly.

“No more dead than my little bro Balty over there and I believe he’s still alive and kicking.” Gabe raised a finger toward the dinosaur, which had literally just kicked over a barn.

“That’s _Balthazar_?” Sam gasped. “What the—“

“I know, right? You’re thinking, _how can this get any better?_ Well, I’ll show you how,” Gabriel snapped his fingers and...things got weird. At first Sam thought that nothing had happened. It was when he tried to voice this thought that the sound of a deafening screech came out of his mouth instead and he realized things _had_ changed. A _lot_ of things had changed, a very _very_ long tail protruding from his spine and tiny arms being just a minor portion of it.

_WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!_ Sam thought—exclamation points included.

_I believe we have all been changed into various species of raptors_ , said a reply that was most certainly not Sam’s own thought.

_Cas?_ Sam tried. He looked around and just as Cas had…thought, a tiny raptor with oddly familiar angelical traits looked back at him.

_SERIOUSLY DUDE, WHAT THE HELL?_ That was definitely Dean shouting in his mind. Sam turned and saw, yet again, a raptor with uncanny similarities to Dean.

Cas sighed (was it _possible_ to think a sigh?) and responded. _We’re raptors. Sam is an Utahraptor, I am a Microraptor and you, Dean, are a Velociraptor._

_Wait you mean like those dudes from Jurassic Park? Awesome!_ Dean thought and Sam could practically hear the smile, though raptor-Dean showed more teeth that vaguely looked like a smile but succeeded more in creeping Sam out. Leave it to Dean to yet again not realize the gravity of the situation.

_Not so awesome if we’re stuck like this forever,_ Sam pointed out.

_Oh come on Sammy, the guy’s got such a hard-on for you, he wouldn’t dare leave you like this forever,_ Dean laughed.

_Shut up_ , Sam growled—all the more intimidating when accented by an _actual_ growl from his raptor throat. So maybe being a raptor wasn’t half bad—especially since Dean wouldn’t be able to see a blush with the way his skin was at the moment.

_It has occurred to me that as Gabriel is incapable of hearing us at the moment and Balthazar is in the same state we are, we should perhaps try to find my less obnoxious brother and ask for his assistance,_ Cas interrupted.

_Sounds like a good idea_ , Sam said with a nod. He realized that Gabriel had disappeared while they had been getting used to their new state of being. Typical.

They all started walking to where Balthazar was still throwing a temper tantrum but they barely made it two steps before Dean tripped and started flailing on the ground.

_Dude, you’re a raptor now. You have to lean forward, not straight and use your tail as a balance,_ Sam informed his brother.

_Who the hell even knows that?_ Dean shouted in his mind as he slowly got to his feet. _Have you practiced walking like a dinosaur before?_

_Of course not—it’s just common sense_. If there was a way to lie while your brain was connected to someone else’s Sam would be the first to do it. He shoved the memory of mimicking various Jurassic Park dinosaurs in order to recreate the movie when he was little to the far reaches of his mind and hoped Dean hadn’t seen them.

_I feel ridiculous,_ Dean pouted as he righted himself again.

_Well you look like a raptor_ , Sam said and indeed Dean did look like a picture straight out of a science book. _Now let’s go._

They slowly made their way to the Theropod, though Cas—with his tiny body—had to fly most of the way to catch up with Sam and Dean’s larger forms. They all realized they were within range of Balthazar when they were suddenly tuned into the cry of, _That BASTARD turned me into a DINOSAUR!_

_Hello Balthazar,_ Cas said immediately, settling himself on Sam’s head. Sam almost protested but he just shrugged it off instead. There were more important matters at hand.

The Theropod in front of them suddenly stopped roaring and turned around. _Cassie was that you? And the Winchesters I’m assuming. Nice to know I’m not the only one Gabe screws with._

_Yeah, why_ is _he screwing with us, exactly?_ Dean asked.

Balthazar shook his head and snorted in disgust. _He loves to mess with anyone he cares about. It’s so childish for an angel of his class_ _but a bit endearing if you get passed the urge to strangle him_.

_More importantly,_ Sam chimed in, _is how the hell we even get back to our usual forms._

_That should be easy with Cas here_ , Balthazar responded. _We combine our powers, override the Trickster, and exact our revenge_.

Sam somehow felt more than saw Cas’s determined nod before the angel flew over to Balthazar’s head instead. The angel-turned-raptor closed his eyes at the same time Balthazar did and then…things were right again. Sam’s spine was no longer arched over and more importantly, there was no obnoxiously long tail.

“Right so, about exacting revenge…” Dean said immediately.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Gabriel said from behind, having shown up as quickly as he’d disappeared. “What’s this about revenge? It was all fun guys. No one got hurt right?”

No one fell for the charming grin that graced Gabe’s features. In fact, a quick glance at Balthazar and Cas—hands on each other’s shoulders and eyes still closed—told Sam that a revenge was coming and soon.

_Soon_ was probably the best description, as Sam turned back around and was faced with a dinosaur he’d heard mentioned maybe once in all his study of dinosaurs.

“No way,” Sam said, before doubling over in laughter. Gabriel was looming over him but it was hard to be intimidated by the long-necked, long-clawed, long-beaked and just plain _awkward_ appearance of the dinosaur before him. _Therizinosaurus, that’s what it was called_ , Sam remembered through his laughter. He’d known angels were just by nature, but he’d never before seen such sweet justice be enacted before his very eyes.

Balthazar patted Cas on the back. “Bloody good job we did there, Cassie.”

Cas nodded, even going so far as to smile a little.

“Anyway, Gabe and I have work to do, so we’ll be off then,” Balthazar said.

Dean opened his mouth—probably attempting to ask what exactly the two archangels were up to or how they had come back to life—but Balthazar had disappeared, reappearing at Gabriel’s shoulders, riding at the base of his neck like he was a horse. He waved down at them before maneuvering (or more likely _persuading_ ) Gabriel so that he would walk off.

Sam turned to Dean—only to find himself in his bed staring at the ceiling as if he’d just woken up. He sat up quickly, glanced at the clock (7:35AM, Tuesday) and turned on the TV to the news again. No reports about dinosaurs. Everything was normal. A glance at the other bed told him that Dean was just waking up as well.

“Sammy I just had the weirdest dream that—“

“We were dinosaurs,” Sam finished. He glanced over at Cas who seemed to be nodding from his chair. So not a dream then.

They all stared at each other wordlessly for a very long time, no one wanting to say the obvious. It was Sam who broke the silence.

“We never bring this up again,” he said.

“Nope,” Dean agreed.

“It never happened.”

“Of course not. How could it?”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Cas was nodding solemnly now.

“Ok well I’m going to go get some breakfast,” Sam said, immediately jumping up.

They returned to their normal activities (normal being a relative term with Winchesters but you get the idea) and kept their pact. No one mentioned the dinosaur incident, not even in passing. If there was the off chance they suddenly sounded a bit raptor-like in bouts of frustration, there wouldn’t be a comment. Sometimes, there are things you just don’t want to remember and being turned into a dinosaur by an angel you previously thought dead was definitely high on that list.

_Fin._

* * *

_  
_If you're wondering what all these dinosaurs look like[here's](http://en.academic.ru/pictures/enwiki/68/Dromie_scale.png) the vague shapes of Sam and Dean's raptors and [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microraptor) is an article on microraptors. What I was imagining for Balthazar's Theropod [here](http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091201144913/dinosaurs/images/b/bb/Eoraptor_lunensis.gif) and Gabe's dorky Therizinosaurus [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therizinosaurus).


End file.
